Swine thing!

This space has been devoid of any activity for a long time. But that is so me. I just stand amazed (and happy) looking at the the number of my posts. I'm even looney enough to calculate the percentage rise annually. :P

Anyway, amid all the swine talk that is in the air and handkerchief makers who can't stop thanking God enough in my lovely little cursed city, I, all of 26 braved the flu and managed to catch Kaminey long after all of my good friends are through with their second and third watches of the flick.

Thanks to a party I had no strength or will to attend and Riju Dasgupta who promised me 3 hours of doing nothing before he could grant me his darshan, I made hay while the sun set. Tiptoed into Eternity Mall, Thane and treated myself to front row tickets to the flick everybody can't stop talking about.

To cut a long story short, no, I did not think Vishal Bhardwaj ushered in a brave new world of Hindi cinema with Kaminey. I'm sorry but for once I do not agree with "India's widest read film critic" (so says Wikipedia) Rediff's Raja Sen and his magnificent 4.5/5 rating. Sen could also be India's most hated film critic. Check out the flak he receives for each of his review in the Rediff discussion forum.

But Sen could take a walk, I walked out at the end of the movie exhausted and a tad disappointed. While some of my friends could attribute it to my penchant for disliking all that is popular but such isn't the case here.

I fail to understand why-oh-why could such a potentially strong plot move at a pace akin to cabs in Andheri at 6-30 pm. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? Maybe! I was left wanting more. The woven plot made for some serious Guy Ritchie recall but that is not a bad thing at all. The dark theme brought back Maqbool to me after the rustic Omkara but 2.5 hours is a tad too long for the confusion to culminate in the final melee.

The shaky shots work fine reminding me of those 3D rides I enjoyed so much as a kid as I saw myself running with Shahid Kapoor (evidently that's the next best thing Kapoor does in the movie besides delivering a top notch performance..RUN) but it kind of gets a bit overdone.

Charlie Sharma's sudden breaking into philosophical discourses every now and then doesn't work for me. Sure, I understand when you're telling me that I'll get jacked not because of the path I choose to take but the one I choose to leave behind, Charlie but the dialogue sounds cheesy like nothing else and especially when you have to repeat it more than once. A similar thought for your "life's doosra mauka".

The linear way of narrating the story tends to irk me somewhat. But that, of course is a very very personal observation. Me thinks a non-linear narative structure could have made this movie a hell lot interesting.

The end melee is yet another disappointment. A plethora of confusion and a couple of dozen gun-crazy goons make a long and boring climax. Shoot 'em all up, I say.

However what pricked me most was the preachy nature of a movie like this and the utterly and ridiculously run-of-the-mill end. "Zindagi tujhe doosra mauka de rahi hai", "Guddu's twin children", "Charlie's Mikhail & Co."....oh dear brother!!!

Clearly, Kaminey rides high on the performances. One more of those films that pick the lesser-known fine performers but such is the tribe of Bhardwaj and my once favourite RGV. I could still thank Vishal Bhardwaj endlessly for Deepak Dobriyal. Think Rajju Tiwari, the jilted lover, the Roderigo in Omkara or Thapa in Maqbool.

Bhardwaj does a similar favour with Chandan Roy Sanyal who plays Mikhail. An endearing character, I sure felt sorry it didn't last more than it did. While I have already said how the length of the movie annoyed me, I would've liked it better had fine tuned actors like Rajatabha Dutta and Deb Mukherjee been given some more meat and not come across as utterly wasted. I mean, c'mon, your movie is already as long as it is!

Amol Gupte's portrayal of Bhope Bhau makes me wonder why we don't see more of him on screen. Priyanka Chopra does every justice to Sweety Bhope but is clearly overshadowed by Shahid Kapoor to whom this movie belongs.

Kapoor's work reminded me, I don't know why, but a lot of Ken Ghosh's god-awful movie Fida, that was thankfully forgotten 5 years ago. While I'd do myself a favour not talking of that horrid experience of beating-my-fist-to-my-head-because-it-felt-so-good for 3 hours, I knew I had liked Kapoor's sincerity to his braindead character.

I'm glad Kapoor has nobody to steal his thunder this time after Jab We Met (He was just as good if not better than his ex-flame). And then there are two of him this time to take care of any such insecurities. Yay! I'm sure everybody has been saying this; I'll repeat too,"Watch out for more of this guy!"

I'm too bored already to talk anymore of the movie lest I too make an epic of a short story if I haven't done it already. My apologies if I have and my apologies to that cute couple who couldn't make out any more post interval when I moved a few rows behind and were busy looking at me before every kiss they stole. "Kaun dekha, kaun dekha???....Koi nahi!" :)

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All things bright and Biprorshee