Substance....Abuse!

Little

I learn.

Slowly

I know.

Walking away from joy

is what keeps me alive.

Pinching the skin,

piercing the heart,

hurting you,

punishing me

has brought me home.

You are my strange drug.

You get me high

staying away.

I am not to breathe you.

I am not to keep you.

A roll call.

I am to mark you absent.

Everyday.

Call out your name.

Everyday.

And know you're not there.

And float in the trip

taking thrills in the distance.

Breathing the smell

of a burnt bridge.

The fumes numb me.

Then quickly thrash

forgetting its anesthetic role.

It then has to singe me

from within.

Cook me on a slow flame,

blacken a blackened soul

to make it ugly and inedible.

You are such a strange drug!

You are such a strange addiction!

You are the most heinous pain,

I love!

Don't ever hold my hand

I must know you not.

I must love you much.

My little fat darling...

I must hate you.

Not!

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All things you; you who kills Biprorshee