Yes, Delhi Belly ki Maa ka Bhosda! Oh, offended, are you? Didn't I tickle your funny bone? No? You will not laugh hysterically? Even if I use crude Hindi to suggest that my posterior is being split into two or tell you in all graphic glory how my faeces look like? You would at least chuckle if I let one rip, won't you please?
No? Wait! You are throwing the world's 'ewwwwws' and disgusted looks at me?
I'm aghast. On Saturday though you wouldn't stop laughing at these very things when Abhinav Deo and Aamir Khan told you that it is funny or at least implied it is.
Seriously, what did I miss?
At the very onset, let me say this is not a film review. I am not qualified to do that. And I am very sure, by now you have your own 4.96418733333/5 stars for Delhi Belly.
This is about a question I need to ask. And you are free to question my intellect, sanity, of course perspective and you are free to be judgmental.
Question? Yes! When did cuss words and reference to human waste become funny? No, do not give me that 'situational' bullshit -- "Oh! But in that situation, it was funny." No, it wasn't.
There are millions of videos on YouTube that show off a "swearing baby", "baby saying fuck", "cute baby farting" and gazillion comments that scream, "Awwwwwwwwww...."
How old were Imran Khan, Vir Das (why does that dude even bother?) and Kuna(a)l Roy Kapur in the movie again?
At the very onset, let me say this is not a film review. I am not qualified to do that. And I am very sure, by now you have your own 4.96418733333/5 stars for Delhi Belly.
This is about a question I need to ask. And you are free to question my intellect, sanity, of course perspective and you are free to be judgmental.
Question? Yes! When did cuss words and reference to human waste become funny? No, do not give me that 'situational' bullshit -- "Oh! But in that situation, it was funny." No, it wasn't.
There are millions of videos on YouTube that show off a "swearing baby", "baby saying fuck", "cute baby farting" and gazillion comments that scream, "Awwwwwwwwww...."
How old were Imran Khan, Vir Das (why does that dude even bother?) and Kuna(a)l Roy Kapur in the movie again?
Seriously, are you going to give me the "Oh-the-movie-kept-it-real" crap now? Am I the only person who thinks it is NOT real and is a bit abnormal for swear words being thrown around like that? No, you do not know what a truck driver's vocabulary I have, so don't get there. I have learnt my Hindi in one of the most crude belts of the country and words/phrases such as "bhenchod" and "teri maa ki chut" were as elementary as the school I went to those days.
You think it is normal and "real" for every second word in a sentence to be "chutiya" or "bhenchod"? You do that? I don't think so.
Well ok, let's say you do consider it normal. If it's normal why are you laughing then? Are you laughing with that whole "Hawwww...dekho gaali diya" thingie on your mind? Then you sure sported a fake ID proof when you went to the movies to enjoy Delhi Belly.
And of course, "crappy" jokes never cease to be funny, does it?
Is it just me who smells a rat behind the swear and shit? Is it just me who thinks that the film makers knew that the plot was weak and the movie had to be sold hyping the profanity and a sex scene that was really much ado about nothing. (Seriously, if that is the hoopla you are going to create about your female lead's pussy being licked, I want to see and hear more than just her moan and groan!)
Does nobody see that there was nothing new about the plot? Does nobody think Guy Ritchie and Snatch? Does nobody find it weird that we are not really laughing at jokes and gags anymore but stuff we wouldn't give two fucks about otherwise in real life?
I have groaned enough thinking when would Bollywood stop paying its unwarranted and terrible tributes to Coppola and The Godfather. I think a new God has been found in Guy Ritchie. At least be worth his style when you copy.
I believe Aamir Khan when he said he never saw Memento. Christopher Nolan would too if he saw the disaster that was called Ghajini. So I'll also believe if anybody makes the Ritchie reference and Khan and his team decide to deny the existence of the film maker.
Take a flying fuck, Aamir Khan and Abhinav Deo and next time you or anybody want to feed me with shit....chal bhagg, bhosdi ke!
Almost forgot...gave you cuss words, potty reference, here's titillating eye candy. At least, now laugh!
---
All things chutiyapa and Biprorshee
You think it is normal and "real" for every second word in a sentence to be "chutiya" or "bhenchod"? You do that? I don't think so.
Well ok, let's say you do consider it normal. If it's normal why are you laughing then? Are you laughing with that whole "Hawwww...dekho gaali diya" thingie on your mind? Then you sure sported a fake ID proof when you went to the movies to enjoy Delhi Belly.
And of course, "crappy" jokes never cease to be funny, does it?
Is it just me who smells a rat behind the swear and shit? Is it just me who thinks that the film makers knew that the plot was weak and the movie had to be sold hyping the profanity and a sex scene that was really much ado about nothing. (Seriously, if that is the hoopla you are going to create about your female lead's pussy being licked, I want to see and hear more than just her moan and groan!)
Does nobody see that there was nothing new about the plot? Does nobody think Guy Ritchie and Snatch? Does nobody find it weird that we are not really laughing at jokes and gags anymore but stuff we wouldn't give two fucks about otherwise in real life?
I have groaned enough thinking when would Bollywood stop paying its unwarranted and terrible tributes to Coppola and The Godfather. I think a new God has been found in Guy Ritchie. At least be worth his style when you copy.
I believe Aamir Khan when he said he never saw Memento. Christopher Nolan would too if he saw the disaster that was called Ghajini. So I'll also believe if anybody makes the Ritchie reference and Khan and his team decide to deny the existence of the film maker.
Take a flying fuck, Aamir Khan and Abhinav Deo and next time you or anybody want to feed me with shit....chal bhagg, bhosdi ke!
Almost forgot...gave you cuss words, potty reference, here's titillating eye candy. At least, now laugh!
---
All things chutiyapa and Biprorshee
13 comments:
Fuck yeah! Now THIS is called a review. Fuck yeah!
Dude, you are more qualified to review movies than all the other critics out there.
You da man, Bippers! :D Amazing post. *poops in appreciation* HAR HAR HAR.
And I have been screaming this out ever since the song was released!!!! The minute I heard Bhaag DK Bose....I knew the movie was gng to be another one of those flicks where the funniest thing that happens is someone using an explitive.....I think Pyaar ka Panchnaama was better any day. That was more real than this SHIT!!!
wah! mere sher...Bravo!
I didn't find it so bad. Thought there was some decent wit in some scenes (Oh, Barrister Vinod, sawal jawab ka department mera!). The problem was nobody was laughing at things that were worth laughing at (at least from where I saw it), but at the other silly things. I think I told you this when we drank in Janta mate, humour is still a sad joke in India (at least at the mass level, before you throw the hasya kavi geniuses examples at me).
What I liked is there is at least an attempt. To get away from the regular shit and go to the other shit (this time, literally).
About Guy Ritchie, well, he's a textbook and we all have our heroes. No harm aping, copying anyone if you don't deny it!
There. :)
Thank you children for taking some time out and giving the post a read and of course, contributing with your thoughts.
Omkar, when was the last time anybody in the industry accepted their "heroes" in public? As I pointed out, AK denied having even seen Memento (Ya right).
Sanjay Gupta will still make a Zinda out of an Old Boy and claim creative rights.
Will Neeraj Vora admit Phir Hera Pheri was a pathetic copy of Lock, Stock...?
And so on...
Make a deserving copy, at least. That is why I somewhere have (had) a little respect for Sanjay Gupta's attempt at copying noir.
Indian Mainstream Cinema is dead.that should sum it up,really.
I watched the movie and laughed also..
still, It behooves me to say:
Since when was the plot considered so unimportant?
and also, I don’t think the Profanity was needed so profusely..(almost as if the movie is idealizing profanity in an inspiring way)
I know It was meant to be realistic and all…
but all realities are not funny & definitely not praiseworthy..I don’t regard using mindless expletives on screen as Progress, it’s nothing but abject glorification of Social and Moral decadence…
as it seems..Whatever vestiges of Our moral and traditional values are left these Guys won’t stop until expunging them…whatever happened to the good old days when all of the family members could watch a movie without wriggling? you call it Toilet Humor really?? I think this flick is a poor travesty of any Humor…
EVEN WESTERN PEOPLE TRY TO Avoid unnecessary Expletives AS Much as they can..It’s not cool, even in real Life to see Mature people cussing each other like that..
In my opinion..It’s utterly boorish!!
You know, Anonymous, I was watching Matchstick Men the other day. Delightful movie, if I may say so. You could count the number of times the word 'fuck' was used. Only once! When Nicolas Cage flies into a rage. Yet 'surprisingly' the movie was very believable.
So much for "keeping it real, bhenchod!"
Thanks for sharing your views. :)
Ha Ha .. U shud actually leave ur band and go do movie reviews ... didnt know u had a blog ... but quite a funny one ..
:) Wasn't a review, this one SG. Just an experience and an observation.
And to quit my band and do just this...I'm really not sure.
Damn Rishi.... This was an awesome review... Very well written. You articulated what a lot of us were trying to say...
Vishal, I then really hoped more people should have voiced out. Follow the herd, sure. I, myself do. But having a different opinion sometime and standing by it never hurt anyone. Thanks for the kind words, bro. :)
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