So what is wrong with me?

They call me attention seeker. Someone said, "Biprorshee thinks if he thinks unconventionally and differently, he'd be cool". Not that I'm complaining or have taken offence but I'm thinking what seems to be the bother.
The culprits here are two film makers -- Mr. James Cameron and Mr. Rajkumar Hirani. Clearly, the toasts of the season, the men of the hour but I'm not impressed. So, I'm what you call an elitist, someone trying too hard, pretentious, fake and the works.
But I'm so sorry dear world; I hated Avatar and had my set of issues with 3 Idiots.
Let's start with Christmas day or actually a few hours before that when a few of us usual suspects decided to have a pre-Christmas dinner together and follow it up with some alcohol at a friend's pad.
A few pegs, a corny movie and some snooze later, I find my bunch of merry men (and women) deciding to take off with a considerate "You sleep! You need to wake up early in the morning." pat on my cheek. Too sleepy to even try to comprehend the situation, I shrug my shoulders, gulp another peg and crash.
The need to wake up early was 3 tickets for a morning show of the Cameron extravaganza and as expected, I reached well after the flick started.
Now, I've read Facebook status messages that claimed Avatar was the best movie experience ever and some more blah. I yawned. The 3D glasses were bad and it didn't make much difference if I wore them or not. But my basic issue was, "Where and what is the story, guys?"
What was so mindboggling about yet another out-of-the-planet war garnished with a love story, an insider job going bad and stuff that would make our home bred storywriters claim divine status???
Why would I want to celebrate a movie only because the "Special FX were insane"? No, I'm sorry, I've seen other movies that had killer FX with a storyline and performances that kept me entertained. One being Cameron's very own masterpiece.
Another friend who probably thinks the same way as most do about me passes a legend remark -- "Dude, you are asking for an item number in an art cinema". While I totally understand his sentiments, I would like to wonder if the story in a movie has now the same significance as an 'item number'.
Avatar was dumb, very very dumb and after all these justifications, your honour, if my perspectives are still taken to be as a way to be different, please enlighten, what is wrong with me?
Case two and we go back even further to the summer of 2004 when while on a trip to Baroda, I found one lonely little book stacked ignored under the 'New Arrivals' section at a book store there. The title of the book read, 'Five Point Someone - What Not To Do At IIT!'. I picked it up, scanned the jacket and put it right back. I was at the fag end of the vacation with only a few, no, very few hundreds in my pocket. No reason to buy the book but I did. And I read, loved and recommended the same.
What I loved about the book is of little significance here and the fact that the whole world loved it in the months to come and an IIT and IIM graduate soon had enough money to give up a plush bank job and "focus on writing" will of course not count when I would want to be counted not as a black sheep.
Ok let's not digress. So what turned me off 3 Idiots that was based on the above novel? The fact that too many people liked it already? Or that it made people talk of how fantastic the movie seemed much before having seen it? Or maybe that annoying man, his wife and doubly annoying kids sitting next to me at the late night screening?
No, let me first chalk out what I thought worked great for the movie. The look and appeal of the film, the lightheartedness, the music and the beautifully penned lyrics and to an extent the performances.
I say, to an extent, because say what you have to but Aamir 'Mr. Versatility' Khan doesn't look convincing as a student anymore. Seriously, give me a break. Nor do Madhavan or Sharman Joshi. To take nothing away from their performances but we have all been in college sometime and I'm not even talking post graduation. I think we were a bit younger then. Yes, it matters!
I say, to an extent, also because Boman Irani hams and how. "It is difficult to talk like that ya", I'm told but why did you need to anyway?
Mona Singh? I think now I love the braces more.
I say, to an extent, also because most of the performances otherwise are endearing really. Be it the 3 Idiots themselves, Kareena Kapoor or Omi Vaidya ('Silencer' if you can't recognise him). The performances are sincere, the screenplay tight.
However, it is Rajkumar Hirani that is the best thing about 3 Idiots and probably, the worst too.
It is a major Munnabhai hangover. The same solution to the world's crises. Be a black sheep, be annoyingly nice yet eccentric and the hardest of hearts shall melt.
While the first half was enjoyable, the second half seemed as if Hirani had run out of ideas where and how to end it all. It was long, over the top and almost a headless chicken. Seriously guys, while I'm sure engineering geeks are known to come up with the most eccentric 'inventions' but don't you think delivery with a vaccum cleaner is a bit too much to gulp down?
While it is great that the movie is 'based on' and not an 'adaption of' the novel, the direction the story takes in the film is very bizarre. Why the whole Javed Jaffery angle? The mystery of the protagonist could still be maintained.
There were some brilliant instances in the book that were ignored. While the 'insti roof' became the 'water tank', it should've been better captured. The roof almost was another character in itself in the book while the water tank was pure wasted. Anybody who has had a similar adda would know what I'm talking about. An adda is not just where we sat, smoked some gaanja, gulped some rum and slapped each other's backs. It was almost another buddy in the gang.
While there are excerpts that would probably make you 'roll in the aisle' there are others if you think about it, would make you cringe at the sheer 'seen it oh so many times before' nature. The baby delivery scene was one, of course and the whole 'kidnapping' the bride from her wedding was one more.
Utterly predictable, it gets post the interval basically!
And of course, the utterly irritating war against the education system. Again, it was just a part of the story in the book not the main theme.
Bhagat probably will continue all his life basking (read writing) off the glory of his debut novel. I just hope Hirani doesn't do the same. It will be a pity because while I'm not too crazy about the author, the film maker, I have great respect for.
Bah! I tried hard not to make this look like a 3 Idiots review and mask it behind my personal grudges. I failed.
So, what is wrong with me?


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All things bright and Biprorshee