Doctor, doctor please...

You came to me with your gaping wound;
showed and cried.
Maybe you wanted me to cry along;
maybe you wanted me to act the healer.
Maybe...

Maybe you didn't know I hurt too
and not for you either.
Did that cause you further pain?

This is the season to be cold.
Jump in and join the fun.
Jump! Get it? *smile*

I must embrace your pain.
I would do good to be your misery.
It would do you good to know that. Seriously!

I told you when
I wanted to be Icarus?
My wings sadly were not of wax;
my wings sadly were just that.
My wings made me fly
and it rained just to mock me!

Come, embrace me
and let us freefall.
Let us dive into this sea
as we forget to flap our wings.
A thundering crash and tadaa...

The curtains shall close on us
and the band shall wrap up another day at work!

---
All pain you and Biprorshee

For you, Popey!

Dearmost Little Angry Dude
Funny I should be writing to you. Funny I should be addressing you as 'dearmost'. Or maybe, not funny at all!
Laddy, you never knew me, I never met you. Yet you hated me with all your might. Yet I so desperately fell in love with you. No, I don't find the word 'dearmost' funny or inappropriate at all. That is what you are to me. Very, very dear.
Your temper was what legends were made of or so I was made to believe. I was told to keep safe distance, which much to my chagrin, I ended up doing. I did not want to, seriously.
The more I heard of you, the more intrigued I was because to me you are more human than any one else. You are because I have heard of "human emotions" and you are beyond all that.
There was this certain thing about you that made me believe that no human can possibly be this alive, this passionate. That is why I love you. I love you because your love seemed brute, selfish and very, very deep. I love you because I tried to love just the way you did.
And then I saw your picture. You were laughing at me, I thought. I laughed too and winked back. I was jealous as you showed off. You handsome dog, you!!!
Your anger was justified and shall be. My nemesis, I called you once. :) You should know, I was joking.
I miss you, young lad. I so do! And believe me if you can; I would have let you kill me.
I love you my little angry dude. You inspired me to love more. You taught me to love fierce.
Dance with the angels.
We will arm wrestle another time.
Thanks for being true.
Me.

---
All things Popey and beautiful

At the concert...

I play deaf today!
It is nice. It is peace.
No, I'm not listening to you.
I'm not listening to what you scream.
I'm not listening to what you accuse me of.
I play deaf today
and I play innocent.

I play deaf today,
I play it well.
I play so
because I want to play you.
I play so
because I am tired of playing me.

I play deaf today
and I smile more
because it is amusing to watch a silent movie.
Just how hilarious was Charlie Chaplin!!
*smiley*

I play deaf today.
Tomorrow I might play blind!


---
All things what?? Hello??? Biprorshee????

Evening by the window...

Let the rain be
It is not without time
It is not without reason

No, it is not to fill your heart with joy
It is not for you to jump right into it and smile
It is not for you to grab a cup of tea and sing a song
Neither is it for you to take that hand and hold it with all your love

This one's mine
This one's for me to repent
This one's for me to wash a lot of guilty time
This one's to replenish my eyes that are so wooden
This one's my shelter that I stand under to throw at you a miserable riddle

Let the rain be
This one's mine
...to scream at God and cry while he shall still see me laughing


---
All things cry like Biprorshee

Stained

I looked at your face today, Baba
and I saw all that would scare me.
I saw that colour
that was just as dirty as mine.
I saw that frown, Baba.
A frown from years of failure and sorrow,
a frown that has appeared way too soon
on me.
I saw a smile but that was Ma's;
three decades she has worked on
to put it on your face to put it on mine.
But Baba, why were you the stronger one
in your union? In your love?
Why were you the stronger one to pass on your grief
to the next generation?
Why were you the stronger one to pass on the dirty colour?
I wanted Ma's white, I wanted Ma's unrepentant smile.
Baba, you didn't fail. I don't complain.
You were just a man.
You are just a man.
I looked at your face today, Baba.
I did not like what I saw.
I looked at your face today, Baba.
I saw me.


---
All things bright and Biprorshee? Really?...

South of Heaven

Ugly is all it seems. How much more can I abhor the self? How much more can I stay afraid?

What made You think I could live? What made You think I could earn my strength being handicapped? What made You think I could go on a wild goose chase looking for self worth and not be tired? What made You think I would not give up?

I give up, You hear? I give up! I get tired. If I do not get something looking for it repeatedly, I give up. Call me weak. Be disappointed in me. But recognise there are weak beings. There are the ones who lag behind. Recognise and help. Help, no? I need some.

I have no more skin left to sratch and pull out, to look for that rock You chose to hide under all the mush. You should have known better and made me a tortoise. I could have hid inside a shell each time it rained. I could have hid inside a shell each time they kicked. I could have hurt them.

Who advises You on strategy? Fire him, he's an idiot. He doesn't know what to make of his responsibility. You do not have an efficient personnel department.

You are a failure, You hear me? You kick started this series and put me at the centre of it all to be fired at. A dummy target. You should not have breathed life into this dummy.

I did NOT fail. I took it all just as it had been planned. You, oh Almighty should not hide behind my soulless mass of flesh and blood...and life, and shove your impotency on mine. You must not be scared. You are stronger.

"Wish I was too dead to cry
My self affliction fades
Stones to throw at my Creator
Masochists to which I cater ....
...You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won't let go till it bleeds..."
(From Stonesour's Bother)


---
All things lifeless and Biprorshee

I Hope You Don't Dance!

You think you take a step forward but you soon see, you are moving sideways. You shake your head and move a step behind. But you didn't want that in the first place. This is not even moving around in circles. This is a strange candywalk. Strange and extremely despicable.

Is there a change at all? A change you so desperately need but you can't seem to make any progress.

Progress! The word is a punishment, really. You don't want to progress. You hate the status quo. What is it that you want? Do you have any idea? Any idea whatsoever?

What is it that you pine for? You know that, don't you? It lies not hidden yet latent and not very feebly, peeks out. It's like this Jack-in-the-Box. It sits on a strong spring. You personally have decorated it with cobwebs but it self cleans.

You're still dancing? You're still moving sideways? Is this not like walking in a desert? The next sandstorm is going to remove all traces of footprints that would otherwise give a faint hope, an idea of a direction. You want to be Neil Armstrong now. His footsteps shall forever remain!

You don't want to dance. You don't want to move. But the still waters here run very shallow.

No, you don't want this dance. You want to be a child again!

---
All things &$^%#$, fucking Biprorshee

Will do!

Will you? Won't you?
You will!
Like everyone else you will
Like a freshly sharpened dagger you will
Like a provoked serpent you will

You will and you will laugh
You will and you will justify
You will and you will stare
You will and you will again

I will but help and smile
I will but sure shall weep
I will and be not surprised
how like you, you never will!

---
All things mock Biprorshee

Winter

Tremble tremble
Shiver shiver
Hands, fingers, mind, heart
Quiver for you are scared
Pine for you are lonely
Repent for you are you

Tremble tremble
Shiver shiver
Tongue for you are tied
Lips for you are charred
Speech for you have failed

Tremble tremble
Shiver shiver
Soul for you are dirty
Flesh for you are rotten
Bones for you are dust

Tremble tremble
Shiver shiver
You for you are damned
You for you are muck
You for you must now

Tremble tremble
Shiver shiver
Tremble goD!

---
Could not be bright could not be Biprorshee